Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’, a song that’s become so omnipresent that it plays everywhere from pubs to your nightmares, manages to prove once again that Minaj can, like no other, combine so seamlessly mediocre music and her arse. As you listen to the (admittedly catchy) tune, the lyrics conjure up a kind of IQ black hole into which every thought more complex than that of a brightly coloured crayon is pulled in by the cosmic suction force of Nicki Minaj’s ridiculous lyrics. The song recalls escapades in which her arse has played a pivotal roll in proceedings – just like every great song apart from all of them. Yet the song has still managed to claw its way into our lives. The basic melody will to seep into every aspect of your life. Forever. Even on your death bed, Nicki Minaj will be standing there… twerking.