Make up has been my friend for almost ten years. The fluttering of fake lashes, the rouge of blush, the brightening of concealer. My applied face is the one I choose to identify with, it’s my armour, my being. But now in this moment of containment I’m imprisoned, confronted with a face I no longer recognise. Gone is my 001 shade and staring back is blemished skin. This face is not my own; this face connotes feelings of sleep, illness or, when I’m feeling brave, sweaty workouts.
I am haunted by something that is completely out of my control and has been for as long as I can remember.
This isolation period can be a trial by fire for all of us with insecurities, mental health issues or past disorders. We are suddenly confronted with ourselves and nothing else. Forced to face our demons that have been conquered through distraction, socialising or consumer goods.
But you are not alone.
Coming to terms with yourself, all of yourself, is a struggle and a feat; pulling yourself from drowning takes strength and time – and lucky for us time is what we have. Battling yourself for self-confidence and assurance is a daily achievement, championing all other past times.
You don’t need to post yourself unfiltered on social media, but if you do I am in awe and place you on an inspirational pedestal. You don’t need for anyone else to provide you with validation, sometimes the biggest wins are the little smiles you can give yourself in the mirror.
It is a scary prospect for many outside our four walls, but let’s not forget the bravery that comes from staying within them.
I hope that everyone is staying well mentally as well as physically, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself.
If you are struggling with any of these issues and wish for further information, please follow the following sites:
Illustration: Frannie Wise