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Horoscopes

Horoscopes: 22 March 2017

AQUARIUS Your flatmates use your trip to the hospital as an excuse to get drunk in public. It sounds fun at first, but the puns of ‘Ale & E’ get tired very quickly. SCORPIO It’s time to host a flat party. It starts well but your neighbour decides to shut it down before midnight, leaving […]

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Horoscopes

Horoscopes: 14 March 2017

AQUARIUS After demolishing two plates of Teviot nachos in a new PB of seven minutes and 42 seconds, you adopt a food baby. You name him Eric and you love him dearly. SCORPIO Have you ever noticed how sexually attractive wallpaper is? No, you haven’t. Because it’s not. Creep… CANCER After a long day in […]

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Horoscopes

Horoscopes: 8th March 2017

AQUARIUS You discover Aldi’s chocolate crunch cereal, and promptly treat yourself to 12 boxes of the sugary goodness. After five straight weeks of the same breakfast, it will begin to look like a terrible decision. SCORPIO Inspired by Straight Outta Compton, you and your flatmates form a rap collective, comprising of ‘Young Delicious’, ‘Clever Duncan’, […]