• Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

Horoscopes: 14 March 2018

ByThe Student Horoscopes

Mar 14, 2018

Chance would be a fine thing, a fine thing indeed.

Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts of men who need more than they get.

Daylight deals a bad hand to a woman who has laid too many bets.

Dance! Boogie wonderland.

As the repulsiveness of the work increases, the wage decreases, so don’t expect that student loan any time soon.

Trust me, that cheap flat in Polwarth is NOT worth the walk.

Honestly, what does retrograde even mean? Anyway, don’t cross the picket line, you snake.

You find the rare white creme egg. Before you know it, you’ve risen to fame. You’re on The One Show with Ross Kemp. The egg tastes horrible.

In Cars 2, Lightning McQueen and the gang take an action-packed trip to Europe. At the World Grand Prix in Italy they witness the visit of Pope Pinion IV. The Pope travels in his trusty steed, the Popemobile. A CAR in a CAR. No problem. How come, Brad Bird?

Mercury crosses your horizons. The Wii music theme is stuck in your head. Dum dum dum ba DUM DUM DUM DUM!

You like to cook with wine. Sometimes, you even put it in the food!

Keep Cup! You bought a Keep Cup! You smugly stroll into library cafe, comfortable in the knowledge that the ice caps, the white rhino and the ozone layer have been saved, thanks to you and your trusty Keep Cup.

Venus is in retrograde, just like your dreams.

The snow killed your daffodils.


Image: NASA/JPL-Caltech

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