Valentine’s Day is like marmite: people either love it or despise it. It seems like half of us spend the week leading up to the day stubbornly planning a Galentine’s with a group chat entitled ‘We Hate Men’, whilst the other half of us find our TikTok feeds avidly filling up with romantic date ideas, DIY gift ideas, and‘Ten ways to tell your boyfriend you love him this Valentine’s’.
Personally, as a hopeless romantic, I don’t succumb to the popular belief that Valentine’s Day is (to quote my dad) ‘a commercialised, meaningless American invention’. In fact, the origins of the day are fascinating: no one knows exactly where it comes from, but one theory maintains that it had nothing to do with St Valentine at all, but was the Christianisation of a Pagan fertility festival dedicated to the Roman God of agriculture. The day was also seen as the beginning of bird mating season, a concept that was eventually officially tied to this day of romance by Geoffrey Chaucer.
But regardless of where it comes from, having one day dedicated to consciously practising and celebrating love is important. In theory, it is a day of reflection and a reminder to show love all year round, whether romantic or platonic. Yet, in practice, a collaboration of countless cheesy Hollywood movies and social media trends have led to unrealistic expectations of the day that often cannot and should not have to be fulfilled.
Personally, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is overrated, but we are doing it wrong. Full disclosure? I’ve witnessed more than one relationship call it quits on this fateful day, because, as with so many things, often the fear that the day won’t be perfect causes couples to crumble under the pressure of heightened expectations.
So, what about the rest of us? In recent years, a lack of a significant other isn’t the only thing putting pressure on society’s young generation. A rise in the popularity of Galentine’s has led to a different kind of pressure: having a big group of girlfriends to spend the day with, something not all of us have. And just like that, a day dedicated to celebrating love does more harm than good.
I don’t know about you, but this Valentine’s Day I’m going to be in my flat, eating more leftover pancakes than my tummy can handle and sharing a bottle of wine with my flatmates. But I’m not going to pretend that I would decline a date if the option came up. Too often, relationships are demonised around this time of year by those of us who are single, when they should be celebrated; a healthy relationship is a beautiful thing, and if you’re lucky enough to be in one and it happens to be Valentine’s Day, go celebrate that love! But a message to all of us: let’s lose the pressure and just be grateful for the people we love in our lives.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” by ButterflySha is licensed under CC BY 2.0.