In a strange way it is almost comforting to think that nearly 60 years after The Beatles’ formation, Paul McCartney is still strumming boisterously on his acoustic and smiling in the same way he did in the 60s – God bless the old sod. Of course, now he’s got a tiredness in his eyes, and the smile is supported by copious Botox.
That is the sad problem with Egypt Station – Paul clearly longs for those youthful days when he would run from crowds of screaming fans in Marylebone. He persistently rejects the old relic he has become. Egypt Station consists of cringey pop numbers; grossly out of touch, and often just plain gross.
The record opens with the sounds of a station with a fade to angelic voices singing in the distance. The promising opening makes you feel like you are about to embark on a heavenly journey. Instead, you hop aboard Paul’s no-stop train to Tacky-ville as this opening jarringly descends into solo piano straight from a 1980s VHS erotic thriller. This is the first of many examples of outrageously uncreative instrumentation, all of which could be summoned by the average A-level music student with access to a recording studio and a tambourine.
The most heinous crime this recording commits is barraging the listener with close-to-unbearable lyrics. Each track oozes with childish rhyming, nonsensical imagery and questionable word choice. Cardinal sins include: “If you come on to me, then I’ll come onto you” on ‘Come on to me’ and “I just wanna know how you feel […] I just wanna fuh you” on the song ‘Fuh You’. I mean Jesus, Paul .. you’re seventy-six! Nobody wants to hear about who you “wanna fuh”. You dirty old man.
This is a tough listen, with very few redeeming tracks. Paul really needs to listen to some of his older contemporaries who use their age and wisdom to take unique perspectives on life – David Byrne, Bob Dylan and the late career of David Bowie all spring to mind. Let’s hope Her Majesty doesn’t get her hands on a copy – she may revoke Macca’s Knighthood.
Image: darkmoon1968 via Pixabay