• Fri. May 24th, 2024

ROYGBIV: Cultural Consumption

Image: www.theguardian.com

We realised today that the bitter Edinburgh cold has set in and we find ourselves in need of a little extra body fat. That being said, we’re turning this week to our top eight culturally inspired snacks. Nobody wants to be ‘that guy’ loudly crunching crisps at the King’s or eating stinky sushi at the Scottish National Gallery. Here are our top picks so you don’t anger your fellow Culture Vultures in and around Edinburgh.

1. Piet Mondrian cake. Yes, this is exactly what you’re thinking, a cake with a hidden pattern resembling one of Mondrian’s masterpieces. This delicate sponge might force others to bow down to your superior artistic know-how. I mean, you’re consuming art on multiple levels with this tasty treat.

2. Cucumber sandwiches. Everyone who is anyone will recognise the significance of the simple cucumber sandwich. Lane made it to the market to buy the cucumbers; the least you can do is indulge in them while spending a little time with Jack and Algy.

3. A turkey bewitched to a dark gold. The literary amongst you will immediately appreciate the reference to Gatsby’s opulent table display. Try taking that with you to the library, it’ll certainly keep you fuelled till Christmas.

4. Campbell’s tomato soup. We had to give you a sensible suggestion somewhere in our list. Heat him up in the microwave and channel Warhol circa 1960. Plus, think of the advantages of this easily portable snack.

5. Magic beans. Trade the dead cow in your fridge for a bag of magic beans. You might stay hungry for a while longer but think of the adventure you’ll have. Great for procrastinating in the run up to essay deadlines.

6. Blackberries. Heaney would have doffed his flat cap in your general direction if he’d been around to see you blackening your tongue with these ephemeral “glossy purple clots”. Try not to cry at the symbolism as you eat alone.

7. Dali’s ‘Lobster Telephone’. Yes, we’re still obsessed. You’ll be the envy of crustacean-enthusiasts everywhere, especially those with a fondness for New England.

8. A biblical reference. Pick what you want to eat then claim it’s cultural source to be the bible. They ate a lot back then so you’ve got free reign to choose anything you fancy. We’re keen for the fatted calf, two fish, five loaves of bread, and an awful lot of wine. A hearty snack if ever we saw one.

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