‘It is so effortless to let my loneliness defeat me’ (Susan Sontang, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Diaries 1964-1980)
There are a combination of factors that have contributed to what has in the past few years been colloquially labelled ‘the loneliness epidemic’; a rising reliance on the internet, the hyper-capitalist glamorization of a life spent alone and the seclusion of the winter months are but a few. In a culture where loneliness is rampant and yet the socially accepted norm, here are six pieces of writing, long and short, to read to (hopefully) help you through the universal experience of loneliness.
‘The Lonely City: Adventures on the Art of Being Alone‘ by Olivia Laing
In her 2016 biography, Olivia Laing dissects what it means to feel alone, exploring topics
such as the physical versus psychological aspect of aloneness and how solitude is represented in art. She draws between loneliness and creativity, offering a redemptive view of solitude whilst also appealing against the culture of shame surrounding it. Introspective, honest and beautifully written, it offers both reasons and solutions to loneliness; as written in her forefront word ‘if you’re lonely, this one’s for you.’
‘In the Kitchen: Essays on Food and Life‘
This succinct essay collection contains twelve short pieces from writers such as Rebecca May Johnson, Ruby Tandoh and Doreen Fernandez. In exploring the culture of food and cooking as a form of love, a way of combating grief and as a connection to a person’s cultural history, it highlights the root of community in our everyday culinary exploits. It is as wholesome and deeply touching as it is educational on how to infuse a strong sense of community and connection into our daily lives.
‘Goodbye to All That’ by Joan Didion
Joan Didion’s 1967 essay ‘Goodbye to All That’ explores a future perspective’s reflection on her experience living in New York as a young woman. The beauty of her writing comes from the specificness of her anecdotes, whilst it is also hailed for being relatable to anyone regardless of age. It is a creative but careful evaluation of the juxtaposition of feeling lost in a place filled with people, and timeless in its way of presenting the simultaneous sense of excitement and internal solitude that comes with being in your twenties.
‘All About Love‘ by bell hooks
‘Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving.’ In her seminal book, bell hooks explores the culture of love and connection in contemporary society. The novel, easy to read and yet intensely insightful, is unique in the way it is both cathartic but also directly offers a solution to how to form better, healthier and closer connections with other people and the self in order to redeem and combat loneliness.
‘The Essence of Peopling‘ by Sarah Perry
Novelist Sarah Perry, in her emotive and philosophical essay ‘The Essence of Peopling‘, focuses on the existential questions of what it means to be a person. In one of the most emotive and interesting pieces I have ever read, she tackles the existential search for meaning as a source of communal loneliness and in addressing the wide, answerless questions of morality and God, attempts to argue for the meaning of life being our embracing of our connection with others.
‘no good alone‘ by Rayne Fisher-Quann
Writer and cultural critic Rayne Fisher Quann in her essay no good alone offers a sharp critique on the way that the current landscape of social media, TikTok and the modern therapy in the age of the internet have advocated for isolation as a form of self-optimisation. She advocates for the importance of resisting the narrative of prioritising individualism over community, ultimately giving insight into how to reach the realisation that none of us, regardless of anything, are any good alone.
“While hiding the depth of loneliness, a future that never comes.” by nmakni is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0