• Sun. Mar 3rd, 2024

Tattoo Fixers

ByCharles Nurick

Nov 17, 2015

After what I can only assume was a successful run on E4, Tattoo Fixers has been given a promotion to its bigger, primetime brother Channel 4. It is a simple and actually quite interesting concept: people who have tattoos that they regret or need to get rid of, go to a shop and get one of three tattoo experts to cover it up with something more appropriate – or at least a bit less shit.

Sadly, the concept is about the only good thing to do with this show. After being introduced to the ‘fixers’ – a heavily tattooed bunch called Lou, Jay and Sketch – in but the flashiest of flashes, the pained banter between these three amigos begins. Joined by their receptionist Paisley (who appears to have gone to the same receptionists-who-do-nothing school as the one from the Apprentice), it all gets a bit painful.

But never fear, a client is always just around the corner. Sauntering in like they were out for a little shop and suddenly decided that their tats could do with some work; “So what are you doing here today?”, “Well I was looking to get my tattoo fixed if that’s possible”.

First up we have Edd: an 18-year-old skateboarding fan who has always wanted a tattoo because they were cool. Lucky for him, his best mate always wanted to be a tattoo artist. Unfortunately for our dear Edd, his mate decided that his leg would look better with a penis on it, rather than the smiley face they had originally agreed on. Just a warning, there are a lot of cocks on this show, both in human and tattoo form.

The fixers then all suggest a design, and their victim picks one to cover up their mistake. More terrible tattoos are invited into the shop, more ‘banter’ is had, and everyone leaves happy that their new ink is what they always wanted.

It is a great idea, but sadly the show spends too much time on the idiots with cocks on their arses, and not enough on the artists themselves. They are obviously extremely skilled and probably have some great stories to tell but are not given the chance to showcase themselves.

As Sketch dryly notes, “I don’t think a new tattoo will save a marriage”. The same could be said for Tattoo Fixers; it needs more than just a cover up.

Image: Arup Kamal

By Charles Nurick

Fourth year History student. A lover of sports, gin, and long, hot baths A disliker of slow walkers, clingfilm, and umbrellas.

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