• Sat. Jun 22nd, 2024

The meticulous art of playlist profiling: finding your tribe.

ByAzeem Merchant

Sep 28, 2021

With freshers just around the corner, we know what that means. People, people and guess what – more people. Ripped from the introvert’s paradise of a global pandemic and hurled into a cesspool of unbridled social interaction, we’ve been left no other choice but to mix, mingle and even make a friend.

Trying to navigate this unrelenting sea of new faces and personalities
can definitely be daunting for some. We can’t usually judge a book by its cover but when it comes to music fandoms and sub-genres, aesthetics are key. Whether it be the Doc Marten-wearing corduroy clad indies or punk lovers shouldering pounds of leather and steel, group survival relies entirely on letting everyone else know “This is who we are, now who are you?!” Lucky for you, the good people at the Student have got you covered. We present to you, The Student’s 2021 Fresher’s Guide to finding your tribe: the Meticulous Art of Playlist Profiling!

Church of Saint Antonoff
Dig up your finest cardigan for a cosy night in; God knows you deserve a break from all the partying. Followers of the patron saint of new-age folk, expect mellow tunes from Taylor Swift, Lana and Lorde – played on vinyl of course. A chill group to escape the bustle of Freshers, but for the last time Sonia – I highly doubt NFR was “totally” you and Callum back in high school.

The Indies
Easily the quirkiest of the bunch – and God forbid they
don’t remind you at least 5 times before dinner. Armed with their signature tote bag, corduroy and Doc Marten uniform and an unquenchable desire to romanticise, they’re your best bet for some socially acceptable day-drinking in the Meadows. Life’s a coming-of-age movie and you’re the main protagonist, baby!

Bucket Hat Warriors
Contrary to their more mild-mannered indie counterparts, these fine specimens swapped their blood for Strongbow dark fruits in 2012 and haven’t felt anything real since. They are your best bet for a night out steeped in chaos and are known for starting chants in crowded rooms and asking if you’ve ever heard of a niche wee band called Tame Impala.

The TikTok Glitterati
Not trending on TikTok? never heard of her. Think LED lights and impractical sunglasses meets playlist titled ‘simply vibes’. 2021’s answer to the flash mob, don’t be too surprised when they break out into synchronized dance moves. Maybe pick up 1 or 2 just in case.

Six feet tall and clad in black they might look scary but I have it on good authority that they can be found most days feeding the wildlife around Hollyrood park. They always have a lighter.

BTS Army
They’re great people. There I said it – just let my family go, please.

Jokes aside, good luck to all the incoming freshers. You made it, so please don’t forget to enjoy it.

Image: Meline Querre via flickr