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Why I Hate Lewis Capaldi

I googled, ‘photos pop stars naked’, last week because I’m trying to quit porn. I forgot to gender the subject of the sentence and an image of Lewis Capaldi in his latest music video appeared. It was the moment my hatred of this man began. 

The music industry of today has divorced itself from a concern with quality music and grounded itself solely in the commerciality of the musician. No weight is given to the craft of song writing itself, in fact, much of the mainstream doesn’t even write their own songs. Capaldi’s new music video for ‘Forget Me’, a four-minute cringe-athon starring a jelly-like Scotsman swimming in various bodies of water, has blatantly exposed this shallow monstrosity. 

From watching the video, what seems to have become apparent to Capaldi after he released his first album was that his tedious, partly ghost-written, ballads were only going to get him so far. His looks were obviously not going to be a selling point and the spot for the “authentic” unattractive guy who plays acoustic guitar was already filled by that red head who names his albums with mathematical symbols (I’ll write an equation for you mate… Ed Sheeran = shit).  The only other commercial option in Capaldi’s eyes was to then “take the piss” with his new music video and be the “funny fat guy”– perhaps an attempt to emerge a figure who has transcended the “toxic” confines of the image-obsessed music industry. One might be fooled into drawing a comparison with actual artistic revolutionaries like Bob Dylan, or Joe Strummer, or the busker outside my local Tescos who sings opera without any pants on.  

What baffles me is that Capaldi didn’t seem to stop and think, “why don’t I just try and write some genuinely good music for my second album and let the songs do the talking?” Well apparently, writing good music isn’t even something that concerns him. “I wanted to keep everything exactly the same as the first time around. I didn’t want to better myself; I didn’t want to expand my horizons”, Capaldi told Absolute Radio when talking about his writing process, or lack thereof, for his second album. 

I guess the artists don’t care anymore because the people have stopped caring. TikTok is king and music is just something you play through a UE boom when trying to convince a girl you’re “different”.  Take me back to the 70s baby!

Image Lewis Capaldi 01/05/2018 #8 by Justin Higuchi is licensed under CC BY 2.0.